Ron DeSantis Sends Really Bad Emails
I read a lot of email.
Like, SOOOO MUCH email.
A few are great.
A lot are generic and forgettable.
Some are truly terrible.
Today, let’s take a look at a really awful email from Ron DeSantis and see what we can learn from his many, many mistakes.
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I had so much fun dissecting this terrible email program, I turned this into a video. This way you can read and watch about just how awful his digital program is.
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Back to the blog post:
Let’s start with the Subject Line
You know what – I don’t hate this SL. I mean it’s complete and total trash. But it made me genuinely curious to see what he was going on about.
And the first rule of a good Subject Line — it should make you want to open the email.
So fair enough — 1 point for Team DeSantis.
But let’s see what’s waiting for us when we actually open the email.
Let’s break it down.
First up, we’ve got the header (which is actually a GIF) asking us to text FREEDOM to 512345 to” join our team”. We’ll come back to this in a minute.
Next up, we have him laying out the problem.
A Christian veteran is FACING CHARGES for tearing down a satanic temple statue constructed in the Iowa State Capitol.
According to the email, he needs us to sign a petition to help this “Christian veteran” avoid penalties for his actions.
Can his email list actually have any effect on what happens in this case? Of course not.
So right there, he already failed his first test.
Is the email’s Theory of Change believable?
It most certainly is not.
If you’re not familiar with the Theory of Change, it’s the idea that the action you are requesting can reasonably lead to the change you are promising. Can $5 help you change the world? It cannot. Can it help you print up a few dozen pieces of lit? It can!
Every email (or any other kind of solicitation) with an ask should be centered around a reasonable and believable Theory of Change.
Team DeSantis twisted themselves into a pretzel trying to demonstrate how us signing their petition could help change the outcome. But I’m calling BS.
That said, I figured I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and follow through with the ask.
So yes… I clicked the link.
Here’s what I saw:
Does the landing page have the word “Satanism” on it? Yes. Does it in any other way feel related to the petition he’s asking us to sign? Not really.
It looks like he and his wife are getting blessed in a religious service. Though it’s not clear that’s what’s happening.
It makes no mention of the initial story.
It doesn’t say where he will send the petition once he collects our signatures.
It’s a generic landing page asking for my contact information.
But yeah, I went ahead and filled it out.
Here’s where I was redirected:
I signed a “petition.” I was redirected to a page thanking me for taking his “survey.”
That’s not right!
Of course there’s an upsell. Fair enough. But at least don’t confuse the action I took in your thank you!
And you’d think I’d get an email thanking me for taking the action in question. But you would be wrong!
So that’s his next failed test.
He didn’t connect the action I took with the response I encountered upon completing said action.
What’s That Say In Your Header?
I mentioned earlier that I would come back to his header.
He chose as his “join our team” prompt, the word “FREEDOM.”
He believes that the man who committed a crime should be free from persecution for that crime, because he believes that crime was noble and therefore just. But what about the people who put up that display? Shouldn’t they be free to worship in a way they see fit, so long as they are not causing harm to anyone?
It didn’t take me long on Google to find the story. And guess what? While the display might make some uncomfortable, “state officials claim the display followed all regulations and have allowed it to remain in place.”
So followers of a religion put up a display within the bounds of the law. The State of Iowa deemed it okay. And then a “Christian veteran” who is also a politician (well, attempted politician) drove in from Mississippi and destroyed the display.
It’s also worth mentioning that, while they are called the Satanic Temple of Iowa, they neither “worship nor believe in Satan or the supernatural, but rather advocate for freedom of religion and believe that religion should be ‘divorced from superstition.'”
So really, who’s freedom is Ron DeSantis advocating for?
Enough Contextualizing the Politics, Let’s Get Back to the Email
I write a lot of emails for a lot of candidates. I often use senders other than the candidate when doing so.
A team account can talk about the campaign in a way that a candidate simply can’t. And it’s always great to bring in campaign staff, family, endorsers… I’m not too proud to say I’ve written numerous emails from the POV of a candidate’s pet.
But in all my years writing (and reading!) email, I’ve never seen a sender like “DeSantis Petition Team.” I can also report that, having been on his list for months, he’s never used that signer either.
It’s just… weird. And awkward.
Come to think of it, maybe it’s just perfect for him. 🤣
Is It Over?
Sadly, no. Not by a long shot.
There’s a new trend in email to add in a long(ish) bio after an email, which may or may not contain an additional ask.
How many asks should an email have?
One.
But a PS allows space for a second ask.
How many asks did this email have?
A lot more than that!
So the primary part of this email was about signing a petition (or was it a survey?). But let’s keep reading.
Moving Some Merch
Next up, they’re trying to move some merch. With a discount code!
Let’s ignore the fact that the hat they’re pushing has text on it that a) is hard as hell to read and b) does not look real at all, and walk through their buying process.
They offer a few options here in this minimal section.
You can text “MERCH” to the campaign. Not sure what that does (I’m sure as hell NOT giving them my phone number).
Or we can use the QR code, which will presumably take us directly to the merch store.
NOPE!
The QR code is set up to help you text “MERCH” to the campaign. What the hell?!
You can also click the graphic. It would probably help to have a click here button to make that option obvious, but I tested it and it does work. BUT… it also doesn’t go to a merch store. Instead, it takes me back to their ridiculous petition/survey page!
That’s just sloppy digital right there!
Attention: We Don’t Want to Scam You… But We Just Have To
The next section is a PSA. Or something. Here it is in full:
Pre-checked boxes that set up auto-donate options are scammy as hell. And possibly even illegal. They are also TERRIBLE for PR. Not to mention they are a great way to piss off the most important people in the world — your donors!
Here is Team DeSantis warning his list that they do this because they really need you to keep giving them money, whether you want to or not.
The weirdest part about this?
It’s not even connected to a donation ask!
It’s just a standalone announcement, replete with two 🚨🚨 letting you know that if you don’t read the fine print on their donate page, they are going to scam you. For FREEDOM!
They use this EXACT copy in pretty much all their emails.
And the best part? There’s a fucking typo in it!
That’s right! This ridiculous section THAT IS IN ALL OF THEIR EMAILS (and they send a lot!) says “help ups plan ahead.”
Assuming they don’t mean the United Parcel Service, then that is just a plain-as-day typo. And it’s in all of their emails!!!!
What a shitshow.
That second paragraph of this section, which is just one massive run-on sentence, is also TERRIBLE writing for what it’s worth. But there are no glaring typos, so I guess we’ll call that a win.
Is That All? Nope! It Continues
What’s next?
Next they want us to volunteer.
I wouldn’t call this copy inspired. But it’s short and on message for the campaign (and doesn’t have any obvious typos that I see). So yeah, it’s fine.
When I click the button I do get taken to a form where I can actually sign up to volunteer.
So good job Team DeSantis. This section isn’t completely abysmal.
It Keeps Going
After that, we get a 375-word bio (yes I counted) with 2 photos.
I had to shrink my screen enough to get it in a single screenshot, but here it is in full:
I love that he goes straight from
Despite all his years of fighting to ensure the American people enjoy the freedom we’re promised in this country, he’s watched the Left strip away freedoms at every turn and impose radical agendas on children, families, and consumers nationwide.
to
In 2009, Ron met the love of his life Casey in Florida, and he’s now the proud father of 6, 5, and 3-year-old children.
without any kind of transition whatsoever.
The whole thing feels like it was written by a conservative ChatGPT knock0ff. It’s way too long to have in every freaking email. It’s ridiculous. But also innocuous.
I’m sure it’s read by less than 1% of people who open his emails.
It’s meant to humanize him.
But I just can’t get past his face in this picture.
So Let’s Recap
A religious group got permission to participate in a holiday celebration in Iowa.
A man (a CHRISTIAN VETERAN!) drove in from Mississippi to destroy it.
He’s being charged with a crime.
Ron DeSantis needs people to sign a petition (which is actually a survey) to protect “freedom.” Not the freedom of the group that was wronged mind you. Nor the freedom of the State of Iowa to make decisions for themselves for what it’s worth. But the freedom of a man who crossed state lines to be an asshole.
Once you’ve signed, he’d like you to chip in for a bumper sticker.
Then he wants you to text MERCH to his campaign in order to buy a hat that’s currently on sale.
Oh shoot, you were also supposed to text FREEDOM to “join the team” per the header. Too much to track.
Now he has a PSA warning you to watch out for the unscrupulous fundraising tactics he’s using, that he knows are wrong, but he has to do because otherwise, Joe Biden wins.
Now it’s time to volunteer.
And then, please take 10 minutes to read a novella about Ron DeSantis and how much he loves family, and freedom. And how much he hates Anthony Fauci and wokeness.
The end.
Enjoy!
I put together an Email Success Checklist, to help make sure your email is ready to go before you hit send. Download it free today.
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